Archive for February, 2008

27
Feb
08

Oceans.

Under this city you’d find what used to be my dreams. When you rise over the skyline it makes a mess of everything. And to this day I wonder what it’s like to be the biggest star up in your sky. I found in you intention to model myself into your world. Determine through a smile from you. Attention to everything. So take me anywhere. Breathe a word and disappear. To find you wandering up with the angels. Take my anywhere. Anywhere so far from here. Under this city I’ve seen a million shades of gray. The way you fell inward for shadows makes a mess of every day. And to this day I wonder what it’s like to be the biggest star up in your sky. Take me anywhere. So far from here.

2 more days left in lovely london. my grandpa gave me and su, perfumes, curious by britney spears. we were shocked.

Today we’re cooking chicken rice for the family.

I’m gonna miss them though they are coming in August. I’m gonna miss the weather, the nice and oh-so-tempting food.

Cheap Cds and magazines.ahhhh.makes me so sadddd….

Anyway, tmr we’re going for NME awardshow afterparty. NME is like this huge music magazine in london and the award show has been screening a lot of commercials on tv. the afterparty only starts 11….how fucking cool is that. i paid only £10 to get the tix, which roughly amounts to $30. So we’re resting the whole day at home tmr…..

-nightmare or a dream….?

26
Feb
08

Let’ssssss Goooooo..

I highly recommend that you listen to that song while reading this. Don’t ask me why!

1. What’s the connection between you and the last person that called you?
     –> Flings?

2. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
    –> When i’m on the plane or when my batt is running out or something something.

3. What happened at 10:00 am today?
    –>Its only 9.45am….but I predict at 10.00am  i’ll be eating breakfast.

4. When did you last cry?
    –>2 days ago

5. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
     –>Toast!

6. What do you want in your life right now?
    –>To enjoy my life to the fullest and not get tied down with the things I don’t want to do.

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
    –>Depends

8.Do you wear Crocs?
    –> I did! Cause of OT attachments

9. What do you smell like?
    –>Tommy Girl.

10. What’s your favorite Gatorade flavor?
      –>Orange

11. Whats your favorite thing to have on your bed?
      –> my lil teddy

12. What bottoms are you wearing?
      –>Brown sleeping pants??

13. What’s the nicest text in your inbox say?
       –>nothing.

14. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
       –> Hell yeah.

15. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
      –>Nope

16. What was the last movie you went to see?
       –>Over her dead body.

17. Do you have Justin Timberlake music on your iPod?
      –>Nope.

18. Do you live near your ex boyfriend/girlfriend?
      –>Nope.

19. Can you sleep in jeans?
      –>Did it twice.

20. Are you a cuddler?
      –> Yes.=)

21. When is the most memorable date?
      –>When I had dinner in a cable car.

22. Something you just don’t understand?
       –>Singaporeans

23. Where were you on July 4th, 2007?
       –>No idea

24. What does the last text message you received say?
       –>’Its 5am there right?’ from sha la la

25. What did you reply?
      –>Nothing.

26. Who was the last person you were in a car with that is under 20?
      –> Su, Aniek and David.

27. What is the last thing someone bought you?
       –> My aunt bought me clothes from Marks and Spencer.

28. When was the last time you saw number 3 on your top friends?
      –>No.3 in myspace is Phinius Gage, the last time I saw Mike was 2 years ago =(

29. Will you kiss the last person you kissed again?
       –>Yes.

30. Do you trust people easily?
       –>Yup.

31. Do you say “dawg”?
      –>NOo….

32. What are you proud of?
       –>My band and VL

33. Have you ever dated someone named Adam?
      –> Nope.

34. Who was last to cook for you?
      –>Aunt Shirley

35. When you sleep do you dream about heroin addicts?
      –>Err nope.

36. Who was the last to call your cell?
       –>The hearbreaker.

24
Feb
08

My ultimate phobia.My final goodbye.

London has been good to me.heh.

Been all over these few days. the highlight was going clubbing friday. The 5 ladies headed to Yates at Leicester Square. Danced…didn’ really drink. Su had some Chinese guy who kept dancing funny behind her. And my 2 cousins both dressed in boobtubes had numerous guys coming up to them who wanted to grind them.heh. My ultimate phobia were black guys.I’m not racist or anything. But they are scary. I avoided them the whole night. Anyway, Su and me had a shot each at the bar and my cousin told us they were playing the last song for the night. At fucking 1am. They were closing the club.WTF!!

Anyway, slept at 4am that night cause we went to an underage party that played grime music. Kiran got drunk, hugging and high-5-ing everyone. that party sucked i was half-bored.

Got up at 8am….took a train out of london ourselves. at my other aunt’s place now with my lil cousins. Su is doing all the babysitting, my aunt’s at the gym. I don’t want to leave london.=/

I fell in love with the band Secondhand serenade while I was sitting down stoning and Su was doing her cross-stitching.

I called him this morning.Told him I couldn’t do it. He asked me why? I  told him….

‘You broke my heart once, I still took you back. And then you broke it again, I feel like a fool.And now even when we’re left hanging, you are already doubting me.’

He slammed the phone down.

My tears run down like razorblades and no, I’m not the one to blame: it’s you or is it me?
And all the words we never say come out and now we are all ashamed
. And there is no sense
In playing games, when you done all you can do.

But now it’s over, it’s over. Why is it over? We had the chance to make it. Now it’s over,
It’s over. It can’t be over. I wish that I could take it back, but it’s over.

I lose myself in all these fights; I lose my sense of wrong and right. I cry, I cry. I’m
Shaking from the pain that’s in my head
. I just want to crawl into my bed and throw away
The life that I led. But I won’t let it die. But I won’t let it die.

But it’s over, it’s over. Why is it over? We had the chance to make it. Now it’s over,
It’s over. It can’t be over. I wish that I could take it back.

I’m falling apart, I’m falling apart. Don’t say this wont last forever. You’re breaking
My, you’re breaking my heart. Don’t tell that we will never be together. We could be over
And over, we could be forever.

I’m falling apart, I’m falling apart. Don’t say this wont last forever. You’re breaking
My, you’re breaking my heart. Don’t tell that we will never be together. We could be over
And over, we could be forever.

It’s not over. It’s not over, it’s never over, unless you let it take you, it’s not over,
It’s not over, it’s not over, unless you it break you. It’s not over.

21
Feb
08

How I’m becoming like you.and it sucks.

I can’t take it…how i’m becoming like you..

thinking pills will help.

I’m tired of waking up in the middle of the night, thinking i’ve lost you forever.

I’m tired of talking to you, pretending I feel nothing, pretending that I’ve moved on, when I haven’t.

I hate it that I’m trying to enjoy my holidays, when all I can think about is coming back to see your face.

I’m scared.of rejection and everything that will come after.

You mean a hell lot to me…….

but you don’t know it yet.

Forever and always…

That time is here again
Prepare to be apart
And it drives you crazy

Each time i go away
The distance gets longer
But it makes us stronger

Should it all come crashing down around me
Would you be there should I stumble or fall?
To pick up the pieces…

Woooo ohhh ohhhh
Forget about the shit that we’ve been through
I wanna stay here forever and always

Woooo ohhh ohhhh
Standing here in front of all of you
I wanna stay here forever and always

These days are dead again
It’s empty from the start
And it drives me crazy

The hour drifts away
Tt hurts to remember
This will soon be over

Should it all come crashing down around me
Would you be there should I stumble or fall?
To pick up the pieces…

Woooo ohhh ohhhh
Forget about the shit that we’ve been through
I wanna stay here forever and always

Woooo ohhh ohhhh
standing here in front of all of you
I wanna stay here forever and always

I’m becoming like you…when you were heartbroken. And it sucks.

18
Feb
08

In London…but still thinking of you know who.

I’m up at 7.20a.m.(london time)…i can barely sleep.

London….is real cold. The first day it was cold plus windy till i was tearing.

We went to Asda the first day, supermart that reminds me of giant, hell a lot of diff food. Bought foodstuff.

Then headed to Canary Wharf to look around, guess what i saw, Krispy Kreme’s.

The second day(yesterday) we headed to some warehouse that doubled up as a supermart filled with asian goods… me and Su decided to cook  Nasi Lemak for the family. It was a success.=)We cooked egg,stir-fried kangkung, prawn sambal, sotong sambal, fried chicken, satay. My guy cousins gave me and Su the royal treatment after 3 hours plus of non-stop cooking and decided to make us banana spilts. 

Madame Tussaud’s  later.=)

I spoke to *him this morning. He got drunk again. cause of me. cause he misses me. I wish I could give him my decision now, but I can’t.I’m not sure what is my decision is.

In life only one thing is certain no matter how hard you try, no matter how good your intentions, you are going to make mistakes, you’re going to hurt people, you’re going to get hurt and if you ever want to recover there’s really only one thing you can say… I forgive you

Forgive and forget…
When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs use we want to be right. Without forgiveness old scores are never settled, old wounds never heal and the most we can hope for is that one day we’ll be lucky enough to forget..” -grey’s anatomy.

Complicated as it is….I still love almost everything about you. I miss you…..a whole lot.

13
Feb
08

Warning Sign

Its been playing over and over in my head.I’m confused.I’m tired. Will everything be back to the way it was like when we were first together? Will you stray away? Will I stray away? I will give you another chance..if you prove yourself worthy… and I prove that I won’t stray. The distance will probably do us good.

Touching song.

A warning sign
I missed the good part then I realised

I started looking and the bubble burst
I started looking for excuses
Come on in, Ive gotta tell you what a state Im in
Ive gotta tell you in my loudest tones
That I started looking for a warning sign
When the truth is
I miss you

Yeah the truth is
That I miss you so

A warning sign
You came back to haunt me and I realised
That you were an island and I passed you by
And you were an island to discover
Come on in,Ive gotta tell you what a state Im in
Ive gotta tell you in my loudest tones
That I started looking for a warning sign

And the truth is
I miss you
Yeah the truth is
I miss you so
And Im tired
I should not have let you go

So I crawl back into your open arms
Yes I crawl back into your open arms
And I crawl back into your open arms
Yes I crawl back into your open arms.

11
Feb
08

every single word in the song is for you…

Busking was beyond what i expected.I didn’t really care much about the people who did or didn’t sign up. My band had fun, gave it their all. I’m fucking proud of them. And their effort to make this successful, kudos, really.

And to my dearest friends who came, helped and supported. Su, Jason, Fai, Naomi and Ramon. Thanks. =)

I was a lil down after the performance cause of a certain someone who didn’t turn up and switched off his phone.I called him after the whole thing to find out he was angry/upset/ hurt by me. He said i was distracted lately, like i had someone else on my mind. And he’s got proof that i’ve been talking to my ex. And it left me in total shock and i practically kept quiet during the convo while he just ranted on and on. It ended with him breaking up with me.

after being so upset for like an hour, I just told myself to celebrate my band’s success. Left me, up the whole night at bugis and me sneaking into my house like a burglar at 7.30am next day(sunday)

I woke up at like 10.30 am.fucking heavy headed.Headed to that idiot’s parents house for brunch.And he drove me to Pasir Ris after that to have lunch with my mum and her very very long time friend.

halfway to Pasir Ris, I couldn’t stand the tension, I was angry/upset/fucking tired/ light-headed, I asked him “who did he sleep with last night?” cause the last time we broke up, he slept with someone. He pulled over like some dramatic idiot on the road shoulder, on the bloody expressway,just to ask me what is my fucking problem.

I screamed at him on how gullible, naive, fickle-minded he was. and told him I was doing everything I could to save the r/s, which included giving up my major crush. He kept quiet, feeling guilty. he tried talking to me when  we reached pasir ris. I walked away. no messages and calls yesterday till now, a msg from him, i saw the first few words, i couldn’t be bothered to read the rest.

Let’s just stop,
drop everything,
(forget each other’s names) forget each other’s names,
And just walk away.

Turn around and head in different directions,
Like we never, it’s like we never knew each other at all.
We said what we feel, then we stop ourselves,
And just walk away.
Never looking back,

Loving every second of it,
we just walk away.

This is probably the best,
not to mention the worst idea,
that I have ever had.


Ignoring what we’ve felt,
Overlooking what we’ve done,
No awkward silences, no hiding any truths
Ignoring what we’ve felt,
Overlooking what we’ve done,
What do you say?

This is probably the best,
not to mention the worst idea,
that I have ever had.

We say what we feel,
Then we stop ourselves,
And just walk away.
Never looking back,
Loving every second of it,
We just walk away.

Let’s just stop,
Drop everything,
Forget each other’s names,
Can we please just walk away?
It could be…It could be…
Like we never knew each other at all.

Answer me!
All egos aside, what do you say?

All egos aside, what do you say?

Ignoring what we’ve felt,
Overlooking what we’ve done,
No awkward silences, no hiding any truths
Ignoring what we’ve felt,
Overlooking what we’ve done,
What do you say?

We say what we feel,
Then we stop ourselves,
And just walk away.
Never looking back,
Loving every second of it,
We just walk away