My mum received a call today. From her best friend in Malaysia. They’ve known each other for 18 years and have been close from the day they met. Her friend has cancer, which we thought was removed permanently. But it seems her condition is much worse and she needs chemotherapy immediately.

I can only imagine what my mum is going through. She came out to talk to me, teary-eyed and feeling down. Its hard to see her this way. I guess friends are closest people that you can ever meet, sometimes they are closer to you than you are to your family. And death is something we take for granted.

Most of us have the initial mindset that death only occurs when you’re old and frail. And when we watch someone die so young, you realise that it can happen at anytime at all.

And no matter how much people say to live life to the fullest, we just take it for granted…thinking there is a tomorrow.

In that way,i guess, cancer is a blessing in disguise. Cause people with advanced cancer can truely know what its like to live life to the fullest. They, or the people around them, would want them to have everything they ever wanted or stuff they always wanted to do, till cancer takes its toll on them,physically.

The hardest is watching someone dying, you don’t know what to say, how to prepare them for death, you don’t know whats really running through their minds cause , basically, you’ve never been through something like that before.

I guess the best we can ever do is grant them wishes, spend more time with them, make them happy and tell them how you really feel about them leaving, cause it’ll give you closure at the end.

I’ll pray for my mum’s friend, that my mum will have more happy moments with her before she goes, that my mum’s friend will have the determination to live her life to the fullest irregardless of how much the cancer treatments will wear her down emotionally and physically. And hopefully my mum will get the closure she wish she had with my grandfather.=)

Turn away
If you could get me a drink, of water
’cause my lips are chapped and faded
call my aunt marie
help her gather all my things
and bury me in all my favorite colors
my sisters and my brothers still
I will not kiss you
’cause the hardest part of this
is leaving you

Now turn away
’cause i’m awful just to see
’cause all my hairs abandoned all my body
oh my agony
know that i will never marry
baby i’m just soggy from the chemo
but counting down the days to go
It just ain’t living
And I just hope you know
that if you say
goodbye today
I’d ask you to be true
’cause the hardest part of this is leaving you
’cause the hardest part of this is leaving you


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April 2009
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