Archive for September, 2009


Dear diary, my angst has a body count.

alcohol and left 4 dead is a good thing.

playing l4d while intoxicated is just love.

if only i was a bum, no job, nothing.I’d spend every waking night intoxicated and playing left 4 dead till i die of liver cirrhosis and blindness.

stupid numbskull.

I have grown increasingly patient, its amazing.

HOWEVER, i’ve become increasingly frustrated with ONE person. and i think she knows who she is.NEVER CHANGE i tell you this person, wasted my breath.

I’m gutting you out, does this make you feel safe?

Anyhooo, i’m not in love, dumbfucks.

just endless amount of infatuation. I feel like a silly small girl, dreaming of many things that involve him.

oh, perfect one.

” i haven’t lost anything, except my mind….”


Never easy.


*If I can’t fix it,I won’t force it. I’m walking away.


re: to whom it may concern

i’m giving you this chance to quit. right now, take it or leave it. cause if its putting that much stress on you,don’t do it. pretend it never exist because it didn’t change your life one bit.

i don’t need your sad selfish cry to said you’ve done your best or that i’m being uptight and bossy, i admit i have been only to stop YOU from sitting on your ass and to stop YOU from climbing over my head.

so don’t put decisions on me, its up to you guys, one last fight for whatever we have right now, at the end of the year. Its either you stick by me like real friends do or carry on sitting on your asses.


thank you

thank you for the uncountable things you have done and this as well=)

Catch yourself in conversation Cut the line to make me feel alive

‘Cuz you know I’m not alive

And leave me with your complications

Take your life, you feel like taking mine

Meeting god we stand in line, not alone

No, where to go, I’m not leaving Not going,

I’m not kissing you goodbye

On my own, I’m nothing Just bleeding,

I’m not kissing you goodbye

Trust to take the right to leave me Waiting under dark clouds for the rain

Praying lightning strikes a change

As history gets lost and As I took that final breath I felt alive

Meeting god to stand in line, all alone

Don’t let me go, don’t say good bye ‘Cuz you know that I’m not alive

Don’t let me go, don’t say good bye Don’t let this love die

Don’t let me go, don’t say good bye ‘Cuz you know that I’m not alive

Don’t let me go, don’t say good bye Don’t let this love die


too much, too much!!

I’m guessing the people who have decided to hurt me are too ashamed to come out and say they were wrong.

To think they didn’t even noticed that I was gone.

No, I’m not coming out to talk to them, I’m waiting for them to say something, cause if these people even cared about me, they would have apologised instead of killing the one thing that was once going right for me.

I could have fixed it, if I had people to help, but nobody cared enough, cause I think I was asking them to sacrifice half their lives for it(like i’m that demanding)…

and if these people wanna say something, I think they should say it in my face, cause I hate the whole insincere, fake bullshit.

unless they would prefer complete ostracism?

if you think i’mbeing a bitch, let me tell you now you guys are the biggest assholes for calling yourselves my friends

thank you very much..


Reality hits you so hard…

the people you thought, who cared for you…would bother if you went missing.but in reality they don’t.

if you wish to say something, please say it in my face, thank you very much.

September 2009