Archive for the 'complain' Category

29
Sep
09

Dear diary, my angst has a body count.

alcohol and left 4 dead is a good thing.

playing l4d while intoxicated is just love.

if only i was a bum, no job, nothing.I’d spend every waking night intoxicated and playing left 4 dead till i die of liver cirrhosis and blindness.

stupid numbskull.

I have grown increasingly patient, its amazing.

HOWEVER, i’ve become increasingly frustrated with ONE person. and i think she knows who she is.NEVER CHANGE i tell you this person, wasted my breath.

I’m gutting you out, does this make you feel safe?

Anyhooo, i’m not in love, dumbfucks.

just endless amount of infatuation. I feel like a silly small girl, dreaming of many things that involve him.

oh, perfect one.

” i haven’t lost anything, except my mind….”

23
Aug
09

such rage you could scream the stars right out of the sky.

A lot of people say don’t waste your time getting angry. But i think its okay to get frustrated with the people you care about so much. Because you unconciously set an expectation for them and when they fail to meet that expectation, you get frustrated.

Several times, recently, I felt unappreciated and used. And I’m sure many of you know it feels like shit.

Time and time again, I told myself that forgiveness is the only way to achieve happiness. But how many times can you really forgive and forget? What happens when “sorry” doesn’t mean a thing anymore? What happens when statements your friends make all seem fake and its all lies to you? Is the trust really gone?

At the end of it, you question, are they really your friends?

I might be getting a bit paranoid, but this is what happens when your friends have been backstabbing you many times.

He bends and he breaks
If he gives they will take away
His passion, his pain, his grace

He exhales,
A thousand black flowers explode
Into butterflies as they’re away

Rip them out, take them,
Burn to coals as they crush and leave nothing
That resembles a soul of a man
See him numb, see him crushed
Rip them out, take them
Burn to coals as they crush and leave nothing
That resembles a soul of a man
Leave them numb, leave them crushed

Took the fire inside
One too many times
He’s burning over and out now,
He flails
Up against the raging tides,
No more fights
Everything you ever wanted to see,
See it in his eyes
One more time

Climb down to test the waters,
My hands feel like they’re rusting away
So I’ll pace around like a lamb before the slaughter
I’ll stay here as long as you let me,
Decision’s been made obvious so I will return
Where I started I’ll stay here
When I’m finished I’ll whither away

13
Aug
09

its just another day right?

i was asked this question…if there was one person in the world i would want to spend the day with…who would it be?

the first thing that prob came to your mind was some big shot celebrity or something.but I was thinking of the people closest to me. And that one person would be the person i included in my tattoo. I would spend the day, trying to show him that things are always not what he perceives and that there are more things to life than his comfort zone.

I was thinking of all the things i would be doing with him…but i realised that my birthday is gonna be another ordinary one. living my day to the fullest.

Anyway, the bronchitis is killing me, esp the antibiotics…cause now i have this metallic taste stuck to my tongue and mouth. Its disgusting. I hate being this sick.

15
Jun
09

things are gonna get better.

positive vs negative

the battle in my head

13
May
09

frustration

its not worth my time. if you’re not bothered to put in the effort, so am i. two can play this game, this very wicked game.=)

14
Apr
09

Please…just let me…

bang my head against the wall for being gullible and stupid.thanks.spaceball1408163640_670eacaa1c

keep thinkin’ bout that little sparkle in your eye
Is it a light from the angels, or your devil deep inside?
What about the way you say you love me all the time
Are you liftin’ me up to heaven, just to drop me down the line?

There’s a ring around my finger,
But will you change your mind?
And you tell me that I’m beautiful,
But that could be a lie

Are you a heartbreaker?
Maybe you want me for the ride
What if I’m fallin’ for a heartbreaker?
And everything is just a lie
I won’t be leavin’ here alive
I won’t be leavin’ here alive, no

Temporary happiness is like waiting for the knife
Cause I’m always watchin’ for someone to show their darker side
So maybe I’ll sit back and just enjoy all this for now
Watch it all play out, see if you really stick around

But there’s always this one question
That keeps me up at night
Are you my greatest love
Or disappointment in my life?

Are you a heartbreaker?
Maybe you want me for the ride
What if I’m fallin’ for a heartbreaker?
And everything is just a lie
I won’t be leavin’ here alive
I might as well lay down and die

I’m holding on with both hands and both feet, oh
Promise that you won’t pull the rug out from under me

Are you a heartbreaker?
Maybe you want me for the ride
I pray to god you’re not a heartbreaker
This time around I won’t survive
Cause if I’m fallin’ for a heartbreaker
And everything is just a lie
I won’t be leavin’ here alive
I might as well lay down and die, oh
I won’t be leavin’ here alive

11
Apr
09

stupid gullible shit

disappointed again. what the hell is wrong with you. go tie a fucking noose around your neck and kill yourself. who gives a shit about you. not him. you’ve got to realise that.

16
Mar
09

Oh my god.

amongst the shit… this song is like the highlight of it.In your face.

Find a cure
find a cure for my life

Put a price
put a price on my soul

Oh my god
oh you think I´m in control
Oh my god
oh you think it´s all for fun

Find a cure
find a cure for her life

Put a price
put a price on her soul

Oh my god
oh you think I´m in control
Oh my god
oh you think it´s all for fun

Find a cure
find a cure for my life

Put a price
put a price on my soul

Build a wall
Build a fortress around my heart

Oh my god
oh you think I´m in control
Oh my god
oh you think it´s all for fun
Is this fun for you?

15
Mar
09

never before..

Just like how you felt how no one else in your life made things so hard for you the way I did….. the feeling is mutual

I may annoy you and irritate you but never intentionally…. like how you hurt me unintentionally too.

I was already feeling fucked but you provoked me further, because of that you got angry and refused to solve things.

STOP blaming it all on me. Made me feel like a fool.thanks.

Never before have i felt this terrible.(not that you really care…)That doesn’t mean i’m walking away without solving anything. Its simple to walk away from troubles/fights/arguments, the way you do it, with an excuse of me wasting your fucking time.

And no. I’m not ashamed that the whole world knows i’m fighting with you.

And no I’m not ashamed to tell the whole world i’m wasting tears on someone who hardly gives a fuck.

02
Mar
09

And we’re nothing short of invincible

I really like to Naomi and Ramon for listening to the shit that I’ve been going through and they trying their best to cheer me up. And the song “goodbye”, dedicating it to me all. I was so touched I wanted to cry.haha. And Naomi for the many presents, you’re spoiling me!!!! Thanks!=)

I really hope things get better. Some other people are not making it any easier.

Fuck old wounds.

12th and Hyde on a Sunday
Feeling like were gold
And we’re nothing short of invincible

(Invincible, invincible)

It starts again, can you feel it?
It takes your breath away
Stop saying that we’re invincible
(It’s round and around)
You’re uninviting, unrewarding
And I’m misinforming you
, misinforming you

We all want to be, want to be somebody
Right now, we’re just looking for the exit

[Chorus]
This is the way I would have done things
Up against the wall, up against the wall
You got me up against your wall
This is the way I would have done things
Up against the wall, up against the wall
You got me up against your wall

It’s you and me on a Monday
The lies that we told
This is where we both go numb now
You broke my heart again this time
You’re fading now, you crossed the line

You crossed the line

We all want to be, want to be somebody
Right now, we’re just looking for the exit

Reaching out for a hand, it’s not here
But you’re not here, but you’re not…

This is the way I would’ve done this
Up against the wall, up against your wall
This is the way we should’ve done
When we’re up against a wall (up against our wall)




August 2020
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