Archive for the '.love.' Category


Please pardon my language, i’m hormonal.

I’m superbly irritated these few days  for many little reasons. I was cramping like crazy today. I couldn’t find the remote for the fan and messed up my room looking for it. My parents decided to have guests over when they told me that we couldn’t celebrate deepavali this year. yesterday a colleague drove me up the wall, that i went straight to the assistant manager to whine. The noise level of the guests in my house earlier on, irritated me, i decided to take a walk by myself several times.facebook irritated me. the phone irritated me. the laptop irritated me. my parents irritated me. Certain group of people i used to know irritated me..

I wish to point fingers right now. but i know i won’t have anything nice to say. and i don’t want to hurt anyone right now. Like I’ve said before, if I won’t forgive them, then God will. cause unintentionally they have hurt me. Cutting those people out of my life would be the easiest right now, but its really hard. cause I’ve shared many good memories with them, for those 3 years. So I’m doing it slowly.Then once I’m done, I can safely say that poly life, those 3 years, was nothing special and exceptional.

Anyway, Wednesday is my judgement day. I hope that the scan turns out normal and the doctor would not remind me of how I might have cancer.And though I have this nagging feeling that nothing is wrong with me, it scares me to know that I was thinking of holding off treatment till few years down the road. I would have cut my life by many years if I did that.I tell you its not easy being a woman cause we are the more paranoid ones. and its proven that we are the first to report symptoms compared to men. After all that, I was thinking….Even if I do have cancer, I think thats when I’d start living my life to its fullest, and I think its gonna be fun. =)

On a happier note…

my special one has been my strength. I can tell him anything and he always has something to say to comfort me. I couldn’t ask for better company.I’m glad he doesn’t frustrate me as much as he used to. And I’m confident to say, he’ll be there for me if things were to go downhill.=)


i give you my all.


I want to give you everything I’ll give you my all
Because you gave me, you gave me your lips a gentle kiss
The medicine to cure my pain


I never believed the rumours.


thank you

thank you for the uncountable things you have done and this as well=)

Catch yourself in conversation Cut the line to make me feel alive

‘Cuz you know I’m not alive

And leave me with your complications

Take your life, you feel like taking mine

Meeting god we stand in line, not alone

No, where to go, I’m not leaving Not going,

I’m not kissing you goodbye

On my own, I’m nothing Just bleeding,

I’m not kissing you goodbye

Trust to take the right to leave me Waiting under dark clouds for the rain

Praying lightning strikes a change

As history gets lost and As I took that final breath I felt alive

Meeting god to stand in line, all alone

Don’t let me go, don’t say good bye ‘Cuz you know that I’m not alive

Don’t let me go, don’t say good bye Don’t let this love die

Don’t let me go, don’t say good bye ‘Cuz you know that I’m not alive

Don’t let me go, don’t say good bye Don’t let this love die


its just another day right?

i was asked this question…if there was one person in the world i would want to spend the day with…who would it be?

the first thing that prob came to your mind was some big shot celebrity or something.but I was thinking of the people closest to me. And that one person would be the person i included in my tattoo. I would spend the day, trying to show him that things are always not what he perceives and that there are more things to life than his comfort zone.

I was thinking of all the things i would be doing with him…but i realised that my birthday is gonna be another ordinary one. living my day to the fullest.

Anyway, the bronchitis is killing me, esp the antibiotics…cause now i have this metallic taste stuck to my tongue and mouth. Its disgusting. I hate being this sick.


its gonna go crazy

i’m gonna go crazy


been waiting for far too long

for an excuse to drink… Yes, i’ll admit.I’m depressed. Terribly depressed tonight.I spent the last hour daydreaming and paralyzed in my armchair. I wish he never existed. cause today he decided to cut me off for good.

and i think i’ll never find out why.

So here, we are again
The same fork in the road
I hate you. You love me
This story’s getting old
The day that I opened up
You shut me up for good
forgive, forget, fuck you

You are a liar and a whore

So take what you want and leave
You’ll never get another part of

I remember the day that
I thought I would be free
I poured out my soul to you
exposed everything
the next thing I know
my heart is broke

my hand it’s much the same
I did my best to drink you away

So take what you want and leave
You’ll never get another part of

You are poison on man’s lips
Lured in by the curves of your hips
Come here boy, stand by me
Look my way, have another drink

I should have got up
I should have got up and left you

and I will never ever be you’re lover again
as far as I’m concerned, we are not even friends
this may not seem too subtle to you
the point I’m trying to make is we are completely through

So take what you want and leave
You’ll never get another part of


January 2020
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