Archive for the 'the twisted world' Category


Please pardon my language, i’m hormonal.

I’m superbly irritated these few days ¬†for many little reasons. I was cramping like crazy today. I couldn’t find the remote for the fan and messed up my room looking for it. My parents decided to have guests over when they told me that we couldn’t celebrate deepavali this year. yesterday a colleague drove me up the wall, that i went straight to the assistant manager to whine. The noise level of the guests in my house earlier on, irritated me, i decided to take a walk by myself several times.facebook irritated me. the phone irritated me. the laptop irritated me. my parents irritated me. Certain group of people i used to know irritated me..

I wish to point fingers right now. but i know i won’t have anything nice to say. and i don’t want to hurt anyone right now. Like I’ve said before, if I won’t forgive them, then God will. cause unintentionally they have hurt me. Cutting those people out of my life would be the easiest right now, but its really hard. cause I’ve shared many good memories with them, for those 3 years. So I’m doing it slowly.Then once I’m done, I can safely say that poly life, those 3 years, was nothing special and exceptional.

Anyway, Wednesday is my judgement day. I hope that the scan turns out normal and the doctor would not remind me of how I might have cancer.And though I have this nagging feeling that nothing is wrong with me, it scares me to know that I was thinking of holding off treatment till few years down the road. I would have cut my life by many years if I did that.I tell you its not easy being a woman cause we are the more paranoid ones. and its proven that we are the first to report symptoms compared to men. After all that, I was thinking….Even if I do have cancer, I think thats when I’d start living my life to its fullest, and I think its gonna be fun. =)

On a happier note…

my special one has been my strength. I can tell him anything and he always has something to say to comfort me. I couldn’t ask for better company.I’m glad he doesn’t frustrate me as much as he used to. And I’m confident to say, he’ll be there for me if things were to go downhill.=)


I never believed the rumours.


an event so tragic

today a healthy young person found out he/she has 3rd stage pancreatic cancer and all he/she did, was complain of stomach aches.


sometimes your sorrys doesn’t cut it.

… human beings we can always try to do better. To be better. To right a wrong. Even when it feels irreversible. Of course, I’m sorry doesn’t always cut it. Maybe because we use it so many different ways. As a weapon. As an excuse. But, when we are really sorry, when we use it right. When we mean it. When our actions say what words never can. When we get it right “I’m sorry” is perfect. When we get it right, “I’m sorry” is redemption….. -grey’s anatomy season5ep21


its a game he plays

the maximum amount of messages about 5 per day from each person.

a goodbye is no longer necessary.

he feels the need to ignore.

cause what i did was apparently too much for him.

and what he did was “probably nothing” to him.

he’s been playing this game far too long.

too long for me to back out now….revenge is evil but so god damn sweet.

We found a house with a yard
And moved all of my things in
And most of your things in.
And honey I was proud of it.
Honey I was proud of you.

You quote the Good Book
When it’s convenient
But you don’t have the sense
No you don’t have the sense
To talk this through to dawn.
Instead you’re slashing through the mud.

Some boxes, that
Hand-me-down couch and chair
That used to be at your church
We borrowed them from there.
A cabinet, record player with nothing but James Taylor,
Tore the carpets from the corners to put in that hardwood floor.
I’d be a fool to have asked for more…

[Repeat Chorus:] (2x)

The love you had was good enough
The past that we were stuck between
But so much stuff must go tonight,
Oh Lord, what have I done?

[Repeat Chorus:] (2x)



a seam away from breaking

i can’t seem to understand certain people in my life… whether close or casual acquaintances. I seem so easily taken advantage of. Is it wrong being soft hearted…I can’t change the way I am. I get angry at myself for being that way many times recently. The betrayal and hurt from other people…just goes to show a person like me should trust noone but myself. And to the people who have striked me off so easily or just plain forget that i was there for you once…..thank you for making my life less of a living hell. really. don’t expect to be there for you guys anymore. I’m gone.

moments forever faded will burn you tonight


might be the answer to your question

why does life seem unfair to you?

my answer is: We make it seem life is unfair. If we look at it positively, its the mistakes you made in life that make you who you are today. Prob heard it a million times. but its true. If it wasn’t for the mistakes, we would all have child like minds. never growing and never getting stronger,emotionally, of course. If you live by the motto “things happen for a reason”….you’d know at the end of it..(whatever problems etc.) good things will come your way. It only depends on how long you take to move on from the bad things that are happening or has happened.

Whenever something really really bad has happened,I always thought it was god’s way of giving me a wake up call, telling me that I shouldn’t live my life this way.

I guess its all perception. how we perceive that certain situation its how we’ll move on from there. If only we took things more positively, there would be more good things to look forward to.

January 2020
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