Archive for the 'unhappy stuff' Category


Never easy.


*If I can’t fix it,I won’t force it. I’m walking away.


re: to whom it may concern

i’m giving you this chance to quit. right now, take it or leave it. cause if its putting that much stress on you,don’t do it. pretend it never exist because it didn’t change your life one bit.

i don’t need your sad selfish cry to said you’ve done your best or that i’m being uptight and bossy, i admit i have been only to stop YOU from sitting on your ass and to stop YOU from climbing over my head.

so don’t put decisions on me, its up to you guys, one last fight for whatever we have right now, at the end of the year. Its either you stick by me like real friends do or carry on sitting on your asses.


too much, too much!!

I’m guessing the people who have decided to hurt me are too ashamed to come out and say they were wrong.

To think they didn’t even noticed that I was gone.

No, I’m not coming out to talk to them, I’m waiting for them to say something, cause if these people even cared about me, they would have apologised instead of killing the one thing that was once going right for me.

I could have fixed it, if I had people to help, but nobody cared enough, cause I think I was asking them to sacrifice half their lives for it(like i’m that demanding)…

and if these people wanna say something, I think they should say it in my face, cause I hate the whole insincere, fake bullshit.

unless they would prefer complete ostracism?

if you think i’mbeing a bitch, let me tell you now you guys are the biggest assholes for calling yourselves my friends

thank you very much..


Reality hits you so hard…

the people you thought, who cared for you…would bother if you went missing.but in reality they don’t.

if you wish to say something, please say it in my face, thank you very much.



when i told myself that i wouldn’t settle for anything less. I did. During that moment, he told me he’s leaving his mark on me, he did. During that moment, it was sweet nothings whispered in my ear and he looked into my eyes so intensely. I fell for it. When that moment was over, he left like nothing had happened.

To be used, is the worst feeling ever.

To find out he has plenty of girls by his side, makes me miniscule.

I have to make him disappear, out of sight, out of my mind, out of my life.

If only it was so easy.


thank you for the music

My parents told me the first song i ever danced to was michael jackson and i grew up with his songs. at a very young age i loved watching moonwalker(his movie) i watched it over and over again and never got tired of it. I sang his songs as a kid. and watched him on LCD over and over again.

Its sad to see your idol die but anyhow i want to thank him somehow. its because of him i have my huge interest in music till now.


dream a little dream

last night i had a dream of you. in that dream, i felt safe in your arms. i woke up to realise you were not there. and realise what a bastard you were. i subject myself to your unnecessary critisms. and your misleading ways. why do you always have to build me up…just to watch me fall. and i’m always walking on thin ice. so afraid to step on your tail. i can’t be bothered anymore. call me a crazy bitch, whatever. i don’t care anymore. this is what happens when you push me to the limit.

Its unfair that i spend my time nowadays on the “what-could have been” and find my thoughts just wondering how the fuck are you?

* this is everything.

January 2020
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